Telling Your Kids about Divorce
Getting a divorce can be difficult, especially when children are involved. One of the greatest challenges that divorcing parents encounter is how they are going to break the news to their kids.
It is inevitable that divorce will have a devastating impact on their emotional and psychological well-being. However, you have the power to control how your children learn from the event and help them start a new life.
The following are some helpful tips on how to tell children about divorce:
- Tell the children together. Since both parties will remain working together after the divorce is finalized, it is best to display a united front when the children are present. Not only is best for the kids, but it helps to know that you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse can be cooperative.
- Be honest. This is particularly true to pre-teens and teenagers, since they are more mature to handle this type of news. However, don’t divulge into too many details that can pit one spouse against the other.
- Let your children express their emotions. There could be tears, denial, anger, promises of good behavior, and fear. Whatever the case may be, do not argue or negotiate. Instead, tell your children that you understand that it hurts and let them know that the divorce is not their fault, but a decision made between you and the other parent.
- Tell your children how this will affect them. Not only should you tell your children about the divorce, but also how it will affect them. Will it change where they live or where they go to school? How often will they see both parents?
- Tell your children that you will both love them. While every child is different, the most important thing to remember is their need for security and that you both will always love them.